20th Century Studios
In 2018, it was announced that Ryan Reynolds would produce Stoned Alone, a pot-heavy riff on Home Alone about a “twenty-something weed-growing loser who misses the plane for his holiday ski trip. He makes the best of things by getting high.” That could be the feel-good ending (it’s the Quibi of movies!), but there’s more: “Paranoia sets in and he believes he hears someone break into his house. Turns out thieves have broken in. Fully stoned and fueled by paranoia, he tries to thwart the thieves and defend his castle.” Stoned Alone — which somehow wasn’t written by Seth Rogen — isn’t officially part of the MCU (McCallister Cinematic Universe), unless Macaulay Culkin shows up in the third act with a bong ex machina, but it’s obviously inspired by the Christmas classic. Home Alone director Christopher Columbus isn’t amused by the connection.
“The reboots are just silly to me,” Columbus, who also directed Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, told the Independent. “When I read about something called Stoned Alone, they were going to do with Ryan – it was an R-rated Home Alone movie about stoners – I thought to myself, ‘This is just an insult to the art of cinema.’ If you’re making a comedy, a musical, no matter what film I’m making, my goal is to treat it with the same respect as if I was making The Godfather. Home Alone is not The Godfather, but you have to treat it with that kind of respect and this idea of remaking things that already exist and are working well? Watch the original! Forget about it. It’s just never going to be as good.”
Sounds like someone needs to chill. If only there was a way to do that.
Look, I will never say anything bad about Columbus, because he wrote Gremlins and Gremlins is one of the greatest films of all-time; he also directed the first two Harry Potter movies. But his complaints are peculiar. It’s not like Stoned Alone is a Home Alone sequel, something like Home Alone 6: Kevin Is a Dirtbag Stoner Who Listens to Umphrey’s McGee Now. It’s a parody, like Scary Movie was to Scream. Besides, if we’re talking insults to cinema, you can find a big one down the hall and to the left in Home Alone 2.
If you feel like watching Home Alone before it gets Deadpool’d, it’s on Disney+.
Surprise, ya filthy animals! The Home Alone Collection is NOW streaming on #DisneyPlus—it’s our early gift to you. pic.twitter.com/AJaitu1at5
— Disney+ (@disneyplus) November 13, 2020